Relational Commitments

The following Commitments are designed to help the people who attend our church relate to one another in a way that honors God and promotes authentic relationships. These Commitments cover important relational issues, such as peacemaking and reconciliation, marriage and divorce, protecting children from abuse, counseling, and mutual accountability.

These Commitments are intended to help us live out our calling to “Be a Family of God, centered on knowing Christ and making Him known.” By family, we mean a group of people that have been adopted by God who now voluntarily join together to encourage and support one another as we worship God as our Father, grow in our understanding of His love for us, and seek to tell others about the salvation and peace they, too, can find through faith in Jesus Christ.

Just like any family we know that things won’t always be easy. Each of us brings our own expectations and agendas into the church. This diversity can lead to rich discussions and creative ministries; but it can also lead to conflict. James 4:1-2 warns, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.”

That sounds like us doesn’t it? At times, no matter how hard we try to get along we find that our desires and expectations still clash. That’s where these Commitments come in. They pull together key principles from God’s Word and serve as our relational guidelines. These Commitments accomplish several important purposes:

• They remind us of our mutual commitment to work together to pursue unity, maintain friendships, preserve marriages, and build relationships that reflect the love of Christ.
• They help to prevent surprises, disappointed expectations, confusion and conflict by describing how we expect to relate to one another within the church.
• They provide a clear track for us to run on when conflict threatens to divide us, and they remind us how to move quickly toward reconciliation.
• They establish guidelines for how our leaders will counsel.
• They define and limit the spiritual authority of church leaders and thereby ensure that all members are treated fairly.¹
• Finally, they reduce our church's exposure to legal liability by clearly establishing our relational practices and by affirming our mutual commitment to resolve conflict biblically.²

As you read our Relational Commitments, we encourage you to study the Bible passages that are cited next to particular provisions. We want you to be confident that these Commitments are based solidly on the Word of God. If your study does not answer all of your questions andconcerns, please do not hesitate to approach our leaders, who will be happy to talk with you about these principles.

We encourage you to expressly embrace these Commitments and to formally join our church by pursuing membership. If you are not yet prepared to become a member, we hope you and your family will continue to attend our worship services, find fellowship in a Missional Community, and in time work through whatever it is that might be holding you back from membership with one of our leaders.

If you choose to continue relating to us in any of these ways without formally joining the church, we will assume that you have consented to these Commitments, which will guide our relationship with you. (See “A Tale of Two Families” to learn why.) As followers of Christ, we will do all we can to encourage you to grow in faith and godliness and to live a disciplined life that honors our Lord Jesus Christ and enhances the witness of our church.

Two boys, John and Luke, lost their mother at a young age. When they were in their teens, their father was reported to have died when his plane crashed into the ocean. The boys had no other relatives, so two neighboring families took them in.

The Friendly family did all they could to make John feel welcome in their home. They gave him his own bedroom, provided his meals, and encouraged him to join in family activities. Not wanting him to feel any pressure, they did not explain to him any of the family rules. Instead they hoped that he would notice how their other children behaved and decide on his own to act the same way.

Not knowing exactly what was expected of him, John frequently disappointed the family by violating unspoken rules. Feeling judged and unconnected to the family, he became increasingly independent. He came and went at any hour, played loud music, and spent long hours in his room with a variety of girls. When Mr. Friendly finally tried to talk with him about his behavior, John said, “I’m not your son, so you have no right to tell me how to live my life. I like having a bedroom and meals whenever I decide to be here, but I’ll still do whatever seems right to me.”

Tensions continued to build, and finally Mr. Friendly asked John to leave. Fortunately for John, there was another Friendly family in town, and they were happy to take him in. But there the cycle started all over again.

John’s brother had an entirely different experience. Luke was taken in by the Loving family. They wanted him to feel welcome, so they gave him a room, provided meals, and encouraged him to join in family activities. But they also wanted to avoid misunderstandings and conflict. So shortly after Luke arrived, Mr. Loving explained the family rules to Luke, so he would know how to get along with the rest of the family. He said, “Even though you are not my son, I will be glad to look out for you the best I can. But as long as you are in my home, I also will expect you to behave as my other children do.”

Like any normal teenager, Luke sometimes broke the rules. When he did, Mr. Loving sat down with him, pointed out what he’d done wrong, and held him accountable to the same standards he had established for his other children. Luke sometimes resented this discipline, but he eventually realized it was always done in love, and it kept him out of a lot of trouble.
After a few months, Mr. Loving approached Luke and said, “Since you are living here like part of the family, we would like to make it official. If you feel this is where you’d like to stay, we’d like to adopt you and make you our son.”

Luke gladly accepted and formally committed himself to the family. In doing so, he changed from being an orphan who merely resided in the home to being a son who willingly accepted and enjoyed all of the same responsibilities and privileges of his new brothers and sisters.

Suppose that John and Luke’s father is rescued from an island two years later. When he is reunited with his sons and hears what has happened to them, which family will he thank the most? The Friendly family, who were kind enough to give John a place to hang out, but could not bring themselves to give him any boundaries? Or the Loving family, who welcomed Luke in, held him accountable to the same rules as the rest of the family, and invited him to be a son?

The answer is obvious. And there is a real Father who one day will evaluate the way we care for the people who come into our church family. Therefore, we are glad to welcome people and give them a place to worship, grow and serve. But being “friendly” is not good enough. We want to be loving, as God defines loving (Heb. 12:5-6; 10:24). Therefore, we will encourage and expect everyone who attends our church to live out the biblical principles that are summarized in these Relational Commitments.

And when people have lived like part of our family for a while, we will encourage them to “make it official.” Living like an orphan, with its illusion of independence and self- determination, may seem appealing to some. But it cannot compare to the security, privileges, and sense of belonging that come from joining a biblical church and living as truly committed brothers and sisters in the family of God.

Center City Church is committed to building a “culture of peace” that reflects the peace that Jesus bought for us at the cross. We believe that what binds true Christians together is bigger than any sin that could ever threaten their relationship because we believe that what binds us together is nothing less than the shed blood of the Son of God (Eph. 2:12-21).

As we consider Jesus sacrifice in order to forgive our sins, we realize that bitterness, unforgiveness and broken relationships are not appropriate for the people whom God has reconciled to himself and adopted as his beloved children (John 13:34-35; Eph. 2:12-22; Eph. 4:29-32; Col. 3:12-14).

Therefore, we look to the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit for guidance on how we can respond to conflict in a way that will honor God, promote justice, reconcile relationships, and preserve our witness for Christ. As God gives us His wisdom and grace, we are committed to actively following and encouraging others to follow the principles of peacemaking and reconciliation outlined below:

Personal Peacemaking

• Whenever we are faced with conflict, our primary goal will be to glorify God with our thoughts, words and actions (1 Cor. 10:31).
• We will try to get the “logs” out of our own eyes before focusing on what others may have done wrong (Matt. 7:3-5).
• We will seek to overlook minor offenses (Prov. 19:11).
• We will refrain from all gossip, backbiting and slander (Eph. 4:29-32). If we have a problem with others, we will talk to them, not about them.
• We will make “charitable judgments” toward one another by believing the best about each other until we have facts that prove otherwise (1 Cor. 13:7).
• If an offense is too serious to overlook, or if we think someone may have something against us, we will promptly go to them in order to seek reconciliation (Matt. 5:23-24; 18:15).
• When we offer a word of correction to others, we will do so graciously and gently, with the goal of serving and restoring them, rather than beating them down (Prov. 12:18; Eph. 4:29; Gal. 6:1).
• When someone tries to correct us, we will ask God to help us resist prideful defensiveness and to welcome correction with humility (Ps. 141:5; Prov. 15:32).
• When others repent we will look to Jesus to find the grace to forgive them as he has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32).
• When we discuss or negotiate substantive issues, we will look out for others’ interests as well as our own (Phil. 2:3-4).

Assisted Peacemaking

• When two of us cannot resolve a conflict privately, we will seek the mediation of a wise person that we both respect in the church and listen humbly to their counsel (Matt. 18:16; Phil. 4:2-3). If our dispute is with a church leader, we will look to another church leader for assistance.
• When informal mediation does not resolve a dispute, we will seek formal assistance from our church leaders or people they appoint, and we will submit to their counsel and correction (Matt. 18:17-20).
• When we have a business or legal dispute with another Christian, we will make every reasonable effort to resolve the conflict within the body of Christ through biblical mediation or arbitration, rather than going to civil court (1 Cor. 6:1-8). If the other party attends another church, our leaders will offer to cooperate with the leaders of that church to re solve the matter.
• If a person coming to our church has an unresolved conflict with someone in his former church, we will require and assist him to make every reasonable effort to be reconciled to the other person before joining our church (Matt. 5:23-24; Rom. 12:18).
• When a conflict involves matters of doctrine or church discipline, we will submit to the procedures set forth in our Commitment to Accountability and Church Discipline.
• If we have a legal dispute with or within our church and cannot resolve it internally through the steps given above, we will obey God’s command not to go into the civil court (1 Cor. 6:1-8). Instead, we will submit the matter to mediation and, if necessary, legally binding arbitration, in accordance with the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries (www.Peacemaker.net).

Above all, we pray that our ministry of peacemaking will bring praise to our Lord Jesus Christ and lead others to know His infinite love and peace.³

God designed marriage to reflect the beauty and permanence of Christ’s loving relationship with His bride, the church (Eph. 5:22-33; Rev. 19:7). Therefore, He established marriage to be a life-long, exclusive relationship between one man and one woman (Matt. 19:4-6). God also designed it to provide mutual companionship through life’s joys and difficulties, to create stability for raising and nurturing children, and to give strength and cohesiveness to society in general.

In our society, marriages fail under a wide range of circumstances. Many people have gone through a divorce before having a relationship with Christ and have found repentance and forgiveness in coming to Christ and have sought reconciliation where possible. Others have experienced divorce through no desire or decision of their own. Still others, even after professing faith in Christ, may have divorced because of their own wrongful choices, but have since repented and received the forgiveness offered through our Lord Jesus and sought reconciliation where possible. Whatever the circumstances, we welcome everyone to Center City – single, married, and divorced.

Because our church recognizes both the divine origin of marriage and the devastating effects of divorce, we are deeply committed to preserving marriages and preventing divorce. Toward this end, we will devote a portion of our preaching and teaching ministry to strengthening marriages and families. We also provide thorough pre-engagement counseling to ensure that couples enter into marriage advisedly and are well prepared for its many challenges.

At Center City we also offer DNA groups, which are men’s and women’s small groups (3-5 people), that are designed to help people fight their sin with the Gospel and grow in their love for both God and each other. In these groups, husbands will be spurred on to love, cherish, and lead their wives and wives will be encouraged to love and respect their husbands (Heb. 10:24- 25, Eph. 5:33). Ultimately, we believe that the more we grasp the height and the depth and the breadth of Jesus undeserved, steadfast and unfailing love for us the better we will be able to reflect it in the way we love our spouses.

Our leaders are committed to fighting for the marriages of our people by helping individuals and couples receive biblical counsel and support when they face marital difficulties. We will discourage couples from using divorce as a way to run away from issues that instead can be resolved through Spirit-guided counseling, repentance, forgiveness, and ongoing discipleship.

Diversity of Viewpoints on Divorce and Remarriage among many Christians

We understand that there is a diversity of views concerning divorce and remarriage among Christians. For example, some people see the Scripture forbidding remarriage after divorce as long as both spouses are living, no matter what the circumstances of the divorce were. They believe Jesus calls us in this way to the radical display of the unbreakable covenant commitment between Him and His church.

Others believe that the Scripture permits divorce under the limited circumstances: unrepentant adultery, decisive abandonment by an unbeliever, or life-endangerment. In these cases, they believe the marriage truly ends and the reconciliation-desiring, aggrieved spouse is free to remarry in the Lord.

Statement of Guidelines for Mutual Accountability

In view of these differences among godly people, we agree to live by the following guidelines concerning the nurturing of marriages and the exercise of redemptive church discipline wherever needed.

1. A believer and unbeliever should not marry (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-15).

2. Since death breaks the marriage bond (Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39), remarriage is permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower, if the marriage is with another believer.

3. Divorce may be permitted when a spouse breaks the marriage covenant by committing sexual immorality or abandoning the other spouse (Matt. 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:11, 15; 1 Tim. 5:8). Covenant- breaking sexual immorality here refers to adultery or other serious sinful sexual acts, which dishonor God and one’s spouse (1 Cor 6:9, 13). Covenant-breaking abandonment here refers to deserting, actively harming, or endangering one’s spouse.

We want to emphasize that the phrase “divorce may be permitted” holds out the possibility that inquiry may reveal that the deserted partner engaged in a wrong behavior that drove the other away, so that a change is called for at home rather than divorce.

We also want to stress that forgiveness and reconciliation between sinning spouses is preferable to separation or divorce even where adultery has occurred. This is implied in Matthew 18:21- 22, “Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’” (see Luke 17:3-4.)

4. The remarriage of a divorced spouse may be viewed as severing the former marriage so that the unmarried spouse may be free to remarry a believer (Matthew 19:9), if he or she has confessed all known sin in the divorce, and has made significant progress in overcoming any destructive behaviors and attitudes.

Again, in light of the diversity of views on this issue we urge every member who contemplates remarriage to struggle in prayer and study with all the relevant Scriptures, with the aim of glorifying God through full obedience to His Word, and consider fairly the arguments against remarriage and those for it.

Moreover, we want to affirm the goodness and beauty of a life of singleness in God’s service both before marriage and after divorce or death. It is commended in 1 Corinthians 7:7, 11, 32- 35, and elevated by the examples of Jesus and Paul and hundreds of great single saints.

5. After serious efforts have been made toward reconciliation, the aggrieved partner referred to in Guideline #3 may, together with the leadership of the church, come to regard the marriage as irreparably broken. In such cases remarriage may be a legitimate step, if taken with serious reckoning that this cuts off all possibility of a reconciliation that God may yet be willing to produce. (See Guideline #7).

6. The aggrieving partners referred to in Guideline #3 (who were guilty of abandonment, adultery, or life-endangerment) should repent to God and patiently seek reconciliation with their spouse as long as they remain alive and unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:11; 1 John 1:9).

7. The amount of time that has passed and the change in standing from unbeliever to believer does not alter the application of the guidelines for divorce and remarriage. (See Matthew 19:4-6, which highlights the fact that enduring marriages are part of God’s plan for all His human creation, not just His redeemed people.)

Even though divorce is permissible under the circumstances described above, we want to emphasize that it is not required. It is not the best testimony to the covenant-keeping love of Christ and His church. God patiently bears with our sins, repeatedly calls us to repentance, and freely for gives us when we turn back to Him (Ps. 103:8-12; Isa. 55:7). When divorce seems inevitable, an offended spouse can imitate God’s love by offering a straying spouse these same evidences of grace (Eph. 5:1-2). This may involve patiently bearing neglect or lovingly confronting serious sin (Col. 3:12-14; Gal. 6:1). In some situations, love may require asking the church to initiate formal discipline to rescue a spouse and a marriage from the devastating effects of unrepentant sin (Matt. 18:12-20).

Just as church leaders are involved in beginning a marriage, they should be involved when it
is threatened with seeming dissolution. Therefore, when a member or regular attender of Center City is considering divorce, he or she is expected to bring the situation to our elders and cooperate with them as they determine whether biblical grounds exist for the divorce, and as they endeavor to promote repentance and reconciliation, and pursue redemptive discipline, if appropriate.

Separated spouses who are moving toward divorce, but are still legally married, should refrain from dating or any other activity that is inconsistent with being married. We are always interested in helping divorced people restore their previous marriage if that is possible and appropriate. We will support a decision to pursue a second marriage to a different person only when we have determined that it is warranted according to the guidelines mentioned above, and that every reasonable effort has been made to seek and grant forgiveness of the sins that contributed to a previous divorce.

We rejoice that divorce never diminishes God’s free offer of love, grace, and forgiveness. He cherishes and loves every person who has been unwillingly divorced, as does our church.

God also graciously extends His love to those who have wrongly left their marriages. That
love moves Him (and us) to call them to repentance, to encourage and aid reconciliation when possible, and to gladly restore all those who repent and seek to do what the Scripture requires of them in terms of seeking reconciliation.

Children are blessing from God, and he calls the church to support parents in their responsibility to train children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Therefore, the church should be a safe and blessed place for children, where they can grow, play, form friendships, and learn to experience and share the love of Christ.

Since sin affects every person and organization in the world, however, it is possible that children could be harmed even during church activities. We cannot guarantee that such things will never happen within our fellowship, but we are committed to taking every reasonable precaution to protect our children from foreseeable harm. This commitment includes, but is not limited to, the following steps:

• We do not allow anyone to work regularly with our children, unless he or she is a member our church and has been part a member and has been background checked.
• No one is allowed to work with our children unless they are a part of a Missional Community and/or a DNA Group and have been approved by their Missional Community leader and/or DNA Leader.
• Before working with children volunteers must agree and sign our “Child Protection Policy” and “Volunteer Commitment.”
• Every classroom will have at least one volunteer who has been fingerprinted and had a background check.
• Male workers are never left alone with the children and are not permitted to change diapers or help children go to the restroom who are not part of their household
• All classrooms are run by teams of at least two to three people.

If a child is harmed in our church, we will take immediate steps to inform the parents, to accept responsibility for our role in the situation, and to hold offending youth workers fully responsible for their actions by reporting it to the appropriate authorities. We will also evaluate our practices and procedures, considering changes that might reduce the likelihood of such harm to children in the future.

All Christians struggle with sin and the effect it has on our lives and our relationships. Whenever believers are unable to overcome sinful attitudes or behaviors through personal efforts, God calls them to seek assistance from other believers, and especially from church leaders, who have the responsibility of providing pastoral counseling and oversight (see Rom. 15:14; Gal. 6:1-2; 2 Tim. 4:1-2; Heb. 13:17; James 5:16).

In order to aid our people in their fight against sin and in the hopes of creating a Gospel culture of humble repentance and faith we have set up DNA groups. DNA groups are small, gender specific groups that meet weekly so that people can confess their sin to one another, receive counsel from the Gospel, find encouragement in community, and be held accountable.

In difficult cases where someone feels like their need exceeds the counsel they are getting in their DNA group they can feel free to set up a meeting with their MC leader or one of the pastors. If you are in a DNA group we will likely ask your DNA leader to join you in the counseling session if that is something you are OK with. This helps equip them to be able to better follow up with you on a weekly basis.

It should be understood that our counseling is based on God’s Word which finds its ultimate fulfillment in the person and work of Jesus Christ, rather than on secular psychology or psychiatry. We truly believe that sin is our greatest problem and that the root of all sin is a failure to rightly understand, believe, or apply the Gospel to our lives. For this reason, the goal of our counseling is ultimately to point people to Jesus and proclaims that he is better than whatever it is that we are tempted to place above him. Unless they specifically state otherwise, none of those who counsel in this church are trained or licensed as psychotherapists or mental health professionals, nor should they be expected to follow the methods of such specialists.

Because God calls our leaders to set an example for us “in speech, in life, in love, and in faith and purity” (1 Tim. 4:12), we expect them to treat counselees with respect and courtesy, and to avoid even the appearance of impropriety or impurity during counseling (Eph. 5:3). If at any time a leader fails to meet this standard we ask that you immediately report your concerns to someone else on the leadership team.

To prevent our leaders from being placed in situations that might compromise their pastoral commitments, we, the members and attenders of this church, agree that we will not try to compel them to testify in any legal proceeding or otherwise divulge any confidential information they receive through pastoral counseling or ministry (Prov. 11:13, 25:9).

Although confidentiality is to be respected as much as possible, there are times when it is appropriate to reveal certain information to others. In particular, when our leaders believe it is wise for the good of someone’s soul they may disclose confidential information to appropriate people. The following circumstances would be some examples of this:

• When a leader is uncertain of how to counsel a person about a particular problem and needs to seek advice from other leaders either in our church or in another church;
• When a leader believes that it is necessary to inform someone else in order to protect that person or in order for that person to help in the accountability process. In this situation, the leader will tell you before they inform anyone else;
• When someone comes to us from another church there may be times when we need to speak to the leaders of their previous church (Prov. 11:14);
• When the person who disclosed the information, or any other person, is in imminent danger of serious harm unless others intervene (Prov. 24:11-12);
• When a person refuses to repent of sin and it becomes necessary to promote repentance through accountability and redemptive church discipline (Matt. 18:15-20); or,
• When leaders are required by law to report suspected abuse (Rom. 13:1).

Like all of our Relational Commitments, the principles and practices described below apply to all the people who attend our church (both members and attenders).

A. Accountability and Discipline Are Signs of God’s Love
God has established the church to reflect His character, wisdom and glory in the midst of a fallen world (Eph. 3:10-11). He loves His church so much that he sent His Son to die for her (Eph. 5:25). His ultimate purpose for His church is to present her as a gift to His Son; thus, Scripture refers to the church as the “bride” of Christ (Rev. 19:7). For this reason the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are continually working to purify the church and bring her to maturity (Eph. 5:25-27).

This does not mean that the church to be made up of perfectly pure people. The truth is that even the best of churches are still companies of sinners who wrestle daily with remaining sin (1 John 1:8; Phil. 3:12). Christians, however, are not content in their sin, instead they seek to spur one another on toward maturity by encouraging and holding each other accountable to love, seek after, and obey God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength, and to love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31; Heb. 10:24-25). Such accountability will inevitably expose our sin and when our sin is exposed Christians are called to respond in repentance and faith, clinging to Jesus as our only hope to forgive us of our sin and to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness (I John 1:9).

The Bible sometimes refers to this process of mutual encouragement and accountability as “discipline.” The Bible never presents church discipline as being negative, legalistic or harsh, as modern society does. True discipline originates from God himself and is always presented as a sign of genuine love. “The Lord disciplines those he loves” (Heb. 12:6). “Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD, the man you teach from your law” (Ps. 94:12). “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline” (Rev. 3:19).

God’s discipline, like the discipline in a family with growing children, also has a corrective purpose. When we forget or disobey what God has taught us, he corrects us. Often he uses other people to confront our sin and to expose blind spots in our lives and then to remind us that Jesus is better than whatever sin we may be currently pursuing. This process, which is sometimes called “corrective” or “restorative” discipline, is likened in Scripture to a shepherd seeking after a lost sheep.

"If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off." (Matt. 18:12-13)

Thus, restorative or corrective discipline is never to be done in a harsh, vengeful or self- righteous manner. It is always to be carried out in humility and love, with the goals of restoring someone to a close walk with Christ (Matt. 18:15; Gal. 6:1), protecting others from harm (1 Cor. 5:6), and showing respect for the honor and glory of God’s name (1 Pet. 2:12).

Biblical discipline is similar to the discipline we value in other aspects of life. We admire parents who consistently teach their children how to behave properly and lovingly discipline them when they disobey. We value music teachers who bring out the best in their students by teaching them proper technique and consistently pointing out their errors so they can play a piece properly. And we applaud athletic coaches who diligently teach their players to do what is right and correct them when they fumble, so that the team works well together and can compete for the championship.

The same principles apply to the family of God. We, too, need to be taught what is right and to be lovingly corrected when we do something contrary to what God teaches us in His Word. Even though this type of discipline may be painful its goal is our ultimate and eternal good. Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

The leaders of our church recognize that God has called them to an even higher level of account ability regarding their faith and conduct (James 3:1; 1 Tim. 5:19-20). Therefore, they are committed to listening humbly to loving correction from each other or from any member in our church, and, when necessary, to submitting themselves to the corrective discipline of our body.

B. Most Corrective Discipline Is Private, Personal and Informal

God gives every believer grace to be self-disciplined. “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Tim. 1:7). Thus, discipline always be gins as a personal matter as each of us studies God’s Word, seeks Him in prayer, and draws on His grace to identify sinful habits, repent of them, and grow in godliness as we rejoice in the great forgiveness of our Savior.

But sometimes we are blind to our sins or so tangled in them that we cannot get free on our own. This is why the Bible says, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently” (Gal. 6:1). In obedience to this command, we are committed to giving and receiving loving correction within our church whenever a sin (whether in word, behavior or doctrine) seems too serious to overlook (Prov. 19:11). This means that if we believe that someone has something against us we are committed to going to them and listening to them and seriously considering what merits their concerns might have (Mt. 5:23). This also means that if we have something against someone else we are committed to going to that person and addressing them individually instead of going to others and talking about them (Mt. 18:15).

If repeated private conversations do not lead another person to repentance, Jesus commands that we ask other brothers or sisters to get involved. “If he will not listen, take one or two others along” (Matt. 18:16). If informal conversations with these people fail to resolve the matter, then we may seek the involvement of more influential people, such as a Missional Community leader, a DNA leader or another church leader. If even these efforts fail to bring a brother or sister to repentance, and if the issue is too serious to overlook, we will move into what may be called “formal discipline.”

C. Formal Discipline May Involve the Entire Church

If an individual persistently refuses to listen to personal and informal correction to turn from speech or behavior that the Bible defines as sin, Jesus commands us to “tell it to the church” (Matt. 18:17a). This first involves informing one of the church elders about the situation. If the offense is not likely to cause imminent harm to others, our leaders may approach the individual privately to personally establish the facts and encourage repentance of any sin they dis cover. The individual will be given every reasonable opportunity to explain and defend his or her actions. If the individual recognizes his sin and repents to the leaders and anyone else that was affected by it then the matter usually ends there. However, if they refuse to repent then the disciplinary process will continue.

As the disciplinary process progresses, our leaders may impose a variety of sanctions to encourage repentance, including, but not limited to private and public admonition, withholding of the Lord’s Supper, removal from office, withdrawal of normal fellowship, and, as a last resort, removal from membership (Matt. 5:23-24; 2 Thess. 3:6-15; Matt. 18:17).

If an offense is likely to harm others or lead them into sin, or cause division or disruption, our leaders may accelerate the entire disciplinary process and move promptly to whatever point they believe is necessary to protect the church (Rom. 16:17; 1 Cor. 5:1-13; Titus 3:10-11). If the straying individual does not repent in response to private appeals from our leaders, they may inform others in the church who may be able to influence that individual or be willing to pray for him or her, or people who might be harmed or affected by that person’s behavior. This step may include close friends, family members, a DNA, a Missional Community, the covenant members, or even the entire congregation if our leaders deem it to be appropriate (Matt. 18:17, 1 Tim. 5:20).

Some examples of things that might lead the elders to accelerate the process are:

1. Where the transgression and the refusal to repent have been public, (1 Cor. 5:1-5);
2. Where the disciplined party has taught or otherwise disseminated doctrine deemed false or erroneous by the elders, then chosen to disregard the direction and reproof of the elders (Romans 16:17);
3. When a sin is so deliberate, repugnant, and indicative of a deep double-mindedness that the elders are
left unable to give credence to a profession of faith. In such cases even if the offending party claims to be repentant the church may need to proceed with excommunication give time to determine the genuineness of the repentance;
4. Where the disciplined party has been warned twice to cease from factious and divisive conduct and has chosen to disregard that warning (Titus 3:10-11).

If, after a reasonable period of time, the individual still refuses to change, then our leaders may choose remove the person from membership and normal fellowship. At this point the leaders would inform the congregation either at a membership meeting, a weekly worship service, or through a letter/email that this individual had been removed from membership and should now be treated as an unbeliever (Mt. 18:17). This means that instead of having casual, relaxed fellowship with the individual as a fellow Christian, we will look for opportunities to lovingly bring the gospel to them, remind them of God’s holiness and mercy, and call them to repent and put their faith in Christ (Matt. 18:17; 1 Cor. 5:5; 1 Tim. 1:20).

We realize that our natural human response to correction often is to hide or run away from ac countability (Gen. 3:8-10). To avoid falling into this age-old trap and to strengthen our church’s ability to rescue us if we are caught in sin, we agree to submit ourselves to this process of discipline and not to run away from Center City Church to avoid corrective discipline. Therefore, we waive our right to withdraw from membership or accountability during any portion of the discipline process. We also agree that there shall be no appeal to any court because of the dismissal or because of public statements to the congregation that may take place at any time during the disciplinary process.

Although we are free to stop attending the church at any time, we agree that a withdrawal from membership while discipline is pending will not be given effect until the church has fulfilled its God-given responsibilities to encourage our repentance and restoration, and to bring the disciplinary process to an orderly conclusion, as described in these Commitments (Matt. 18:12-14; Gal. 6:1; Heb. 13:17).

Knowing that part of the disciplinary process includes meeting with others in order to
share where we are at and give them the opportunity to evaluate our situation and confront us with the Gospel we commit to making it a priority to meet with our leaders if and when they request a meeting (Hebrews 13:17). We also commit to responding to any text or emails or phone calls that they might send us in a timely manner.



If an individual leaves the church while discipline is in effect or is being considered, and our leaders learn that he or she is attending another church, they may inform that church of the situation and ask its leaders to encourage the individual to repent and be reconciled to the Lord and to any people he or she has offended. This action is intended both to help the individual find freedom from their sin and to warn the other church about the harm that he or she might do to their members (see Matt. 18:12-14; Rom. 16:17; 1 Cor. 5:1-13; 3 John 1:9-10).

People who are currently under discipline at their church will not be allowed to partake of the sacraments at Center City, to become members, or to participate in the regular fellowship of our church until they have repented of their sins and made a reasonable effort to be reconciled, or our leaders have determined that the discipline of the former church was not biblically appropriate.

As we pursue the blessings of accountability and church discipline, we will hold fast to the promise of Scripture: “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:10-11).

¹ When we use the term “leader” in these Commitments, we are referring to the pastors and elders of our church.
² See www.PeacemakerChurch.net for information on how these Commitments can help to prevent conflict and reduce exposure to legal liability in our church
³ Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande (Baker Books, 3rd Ed. 2004).