Relational Commitments

The following Commitments are designed to help the people who attend our church relate to one another in a way that honors God and promotes authentic relationships. These Commitments cover important relational issues, such as peacemaking and reconciliation, marriage and divorce, protecting children from abuse, counseling, and mutual accountability.

These Commitments are intended to help us live out our calling to “Be a Family of God, centered on knowing Christ and making Him known.” 

Personal Peacemaking  

• Whenever we are faced with conflict, our primary goal will be to glorify God with our thoughts, words and actions (1 Corinthians 10:31).  
• We will try to get the “logs” out of our own eyes before focusing on what others may have done wrong (Matthew 7:3-5).  
• We will seek to overlook minor offenses (Proverbs 19:11).  
• We will refrain from all gossip, backbiting and slander (Ephesians 4:29-32). If we have a problem with others, we will talk to them, not about them.  
• We will make “charitable judgments” toward one another by believing the best about each other until we have facts that prove otherwise (1 Corinthians 13:7).  
• If an offense is too serious to overlook, or if we think someone may have something against us, we will promptly go to them in order to seek reconciliation (Matthew 5:23- 24; 18:15).  
• When we offer a word of correction to others, we will do so graciously and gently, with the goal of serving and restoring them, rather than beating them down (Proverbs 12:18; Ephesians 4:29; Galatians 6:1).  
• When someone tries to correct us, we will ask God to help us resist prideful defensiveness and to welcome correction with humility (Psalms 141:5; Proverbs 15:32).
• When others repent we will look to Jesus to find the grace to forgive them as he has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).  
• When we discuss or negotiate substantive issues, we will look out for others’ interests as well as our own (Philippians 2:3-4).

Assisted Peacemaking  

• When two of us cannot resolve a conflict privately, we will seek the mediation of a wise person that we both respect in the church and listen humbly to their counsel (Matthew 18:16; Philippians 4:2-3). If our dispute is with a church leader, we will look to another church leader for assistance.  
• When informal mediation does not resolve a dispute, we will seek formal assistance from our church leaders or people they appoint, and we will submit to their counsel and correction (Matthew 18:17-20).  
• When we have a business or legal dispute with another Christian, we will make every reasonable effort to resolve the conflict within the body of Christ through biblical mediation or arbitration, rather than going to civil court (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). If the other party attends another church, our leaders will offer to cooperate with the leaders of that church to resolve the matter.  
• If a person coming to our church has an unresolved conflict with someone in his former church, we will require and assist him to make every reasonable effort to be reconciled to the other person before joining our church (Matthew 5:23-24; Romans 12:18).  
• When a conflict involves matters of doctrine or church discipline, we will submit to the procedures set forth in our Commitment to Accountability and Church Discipline. If we have a legal dispute with or within our church and cannot resolve it internally through the steps given above, we will obey God’s command not to go into the civil court (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). Instead, we will submit the matter to mediation and, if necessary, legally binding arbitration, in accordance with the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries (www.Peacemaker.net).